Don't judge people
We have all been quick to judge and even laugh at people when they do or say something strange or behave in an odd way. I am going to share two scenarios where my my staff were in fact struggling in life and it was only revealed when I took time to talk to them.
It's not a pyjama party!
We were sitting in the office having handover from the night shift when a member of staff on the day shift walked in wearing her pyjamas and dressing gown. Several staff started laughing and in fact the nurse was laughing herself. We carried on with handover and then the nurse went to get changed into her uniform. This nurse had been behaving a bit odd for a while and was a bit of a hot topic amongst staff. This behaviour didnt help the gossip and so as her manager I took the opportunity to speak to her.
The nurse said that she had slept in and thought it didn't matter that she came in her pyjamas because she had to get changed anyway. She became upset and opened up to me and explained that she had been feeling very anxious recently and was going through a difficult time at home. She was on anti-depressants and being seen by her GP. I felt bad that I hadn't known she was struggling but she said she was trying to work through things herself. It turned out that she was deliberately saying and doing random things to get attention, it was her way of reaching out to let people know she was struggling. This is in fact really sad that it took so long for me or anyone else to check if she was okay. After all this was a senior nurse who had been well respected by the team.
It would seem that people turned their back on this nurse and she then became a bit of a laughing stock and known for her odd behaviours.
A little unkempt
She was the model nurse in the eyes of her patients and families. She was amazing and gave exceptional patient care, what more could you ask for as a manager from your staff!
This same nurse was a bit unkempt and her time keeping was not the best. Staff would moan about her and say she was letting the team down. In my opinion this nurse did not fit in well with the team as they were all much younger and were very much proud of their looks etc. The team would constantly complain about the nurse and there was an atmosphere on the ward which on one occasion was picked up by a family. I brought the team together for a catch up and explained that the family had picked up on the atmosphere which was totally unacceptable. I had to come down hard on the team and tell them to respect each other and that I would not tolerate patient experience being affected by an atmosphere.
I spoke to the nurse seperately and it was then that she divulged that she was dependant on alcohol and had recently joined AA but was struggling. I was shocked at this but everything now seemed to make sense. She had hidden this well and again was trying to manage this on her own. Obviously this was a serious issue which I had to escalate to my manager, HR and occupational health. We put a support programme in place and I had daily check-ins with the nurse. She said it was like a weight had been lifted and she felt a real sense of relief.
These two scenarios happened many years ago and taught me that as a manager you really do need to check in with all your staff especially when you notice someone is behaving out of character.
I am a real advocate for checking in on staff now and will not tolerate gossiping but instead insist that people check in with each other. We never know what is going on in people's lives and I firmly believe that as a manager and colleague we need to look out for each other and more importantly BE KIND!
